May 31: Vivid

I remember nearly a year and a half ago, I had a HUGE crush on this guy. The night before, I had driven him to the local Subway to have dinner with a few of our friends. When I dropped him off outside his apartment, I casually asked him if he was going to our friend Jayme's to watch Land Before Time the next night. He said "Sure".

The next night, I showed up early with a backpack full of homework and high hopes. A couple people trickled in and then Sean knocked on the door. I opened it and let him in and freaked out a little (just in my head. On the outside, I was as cool as a cuke).

Eventually, we had the movie in and the popcorn ready. I had to kick this tall, awkward guy from the seat that was too wide to be a 1-person chair and too small to be a love-seat and then I sat down. Sean sauntered over and then he said something and sat down right next to me. SWOON. The movie started and not 3 minutes in, he had my hand in his and I was on the brink of peeing my pants from excitement (but still, on the outside, cool as a cuke).

We watched the movie (that, to be honest, I'd only seen at my granny's house while playing with Chevron cars) and chatted a bit afterwards. Everyone left and it was just me, Sean, and Jayme (and maybe Jayme's roommate Jamie, who I think had gone to bed by that point). Sean wondered what we were going to do next and I suggested we went back to his place and I'll finish up some homework while he worked on his book. My ploy to get him to fall for me was a success!

We wandered across the complex and up to his apartment and we went in. We sat down on his demon couch and I pulled out Walden by Henry David Thoreau and he pulled out his baby-sized laptop. After an awkward choke-hold-esque situation, we finally found a comfy position and went to work. That obviously didn't last long and we ended the night making out.

He walked me home and kissed me on my doorstep. SWOON. 5 months of dating, 3 months of engagement, and 8 months of marriage later, I swoon just as often. And tonight, we're probably going to buy groceries and I'll tell him I tried making kool-aid taffy but didn't have a candy thermometer, ran to get one, it broke when I pulled it out of the package, I still used what I could, and it still didn't turn out.

I hope the last day of your month turns out better than my kool-aid taffy.
love, Ellen

May 30: Let Go

What does "Let go" mean to me? idk. Probably to many other people, it means Forgive and Forget. However, as I was thinking about this all day, I was listening to this song...

then I figured it to mean "Quit holding yourself back. Just do what you want and be amazing." It means let go of the past and what you think of yourself. Try new things and figure your life out, already. Don't hold grudges, don't base your life on what others have done, don't label yourself, and STOP telling others what to do. You don't know what they're going through and you don't need to figure it out for them. Let them do what they want and you can to.

Sometimes, I want to tell politicians to "Let go" because they get so caught up in figuring out the world when, really, we need to figure ourselves out. I'm not saying I believe in chaos or communism or anything, and it's hard to make people believe the same as you... but I don't know. Maybe we all need to take a step back and quit looking at the fine print. I don't know. I shouldn't preach.

Figure it out.
love, Ellen

May 27: To you

Okay. I see that today is not the 27th and that I already posted for today but I was really looking forward to this prompt and I'm going to do it anyway. So there.

Dear Readers,

Thanks. Just thanks for reading and commenting and being super cool. In turn, your awesomeness, makes me feel more awesome. Whenever I get comments from other bloggers I don't know or who I do know, I show Sean and say "Look! People like me!" Then he says things like "See, I told you that you were cool." And then I say sheepishly, "Thanks." Then I remember how I have a hypothetical conversation problem. Anyway, I really appreciate you and hope you continue to enjoy my hilariousness as much as I do.

love, Ellen

May 29: Soundtrack

okay... so I've been gone for a while (according to the every day blog thing) but I'm back. So today I gotta find 5 songs that "speak to me". What about songs that I just love? Or that have been stuck in my head lately? Let's go with that. Also, excuse the vids... none are gonna be that great.

Here we go:

#1:Broken Heart by Motion City Soundtrack - Lately, this song is the one that I bust a move to. It just gets me excited and in a dance-y mood.

#2: Synesthesia by Andrew Mcmahon - It's such a good song and I LOVE that it's called synesthesia because it means to be able to see colors and shapes when you hear things and that's included in the lyrics! I love how smart it is.

#3: Diane Young by Vampire Weekend - I love the beat and the sound of this song on their newest album Modern Vampires of the City (which is a pretty great album in it's entirety). It's just so easy to listen to and fun. I recommend it.

#4: Elegy for Elsabet by The Weakerthans - I love this song. It's so good to listen to on a rainy day. If you're not gonna listen to all of it, which I understand, at least listen from 4:30 because they use a whirly tube and it's SO good. So well done.

#5: Lions by I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business - This is just a beautiful song in itself. I can't wait for I Can Make A Mess to come out with their next album to come out on June 11, 2013.

ENJOY! Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LIL SISTER ABBY YESTERDAY! 17 years old is too old. Go back to being 13. I can handle that. (jk, obvs. love ya, abzzz)

okay. Have a good last 3 days of May!
love, Ellen

May 25: Charms

I was once told in high school that I was charming. At first I thought it was a nice compliment but now that I look back at it, it kind of seems condescending.

But that's behind me. Now I have a husband that calls me beautiful every day and I appreciate those compliments every day.

and that's all. okay.
love, Ellen

May 24: 3 Worst

my 3 worst traits:

1: Dislikes exercising. A lot of mornings, especially lately, I think to myself "I should go for a run or lift my 5 lb. weights for a bit," and then I sit there on my computer and continue to brows the millions of ridiculous pictures and posts.

2: Occasionally a couple minutes late. I lose track of time easily but I try to never be too late.
Fashionably late. Isn't that what it's called?

3: Often lazy. I should go do the dishes right now but instead I've been watching television for the past 3 or 4 hours putting it off. I will, don't you worry about it, but after I finish this blog.

okay, as I was saying.
love, Ellen

May 23: Schooled

Something I couldn't learn from school:

Why is this such a tough one?
I learned a lot in school and there's a lot that school couldn't teach me.

I just don't know where I'm going with this. I could say that school couldn't teach me how to love or how to be myself or how tough it is to get a job anywhere... but that seems cliche and dumb.
I learned how to be myself no matter what situation in school and I learned that I want to be an editor or a writer or something along those lines when I grow up. School taught me that I'd rather be home with my husband than learning about biography or what have you. I know what I want to learn and I know where I want to go with the help of school. Now I know that school can be the difference between me and someone who was never educated but was laid off from a 15 year career as what I want to be in the race to a job position.

Why is school so important. I don't understand why so many job offers require 2-3 years of professional experience when you're first starting. It's like all those barista jobs that require 2-3 years of experience with coffee before being able to work there. Excuse my language, but how the HELL am I supposed to get 2-3 years experience if no one will hire me in the first place?

Whenever I look at open positions as an editor it says I need that experience but I know how great I am at detecting errors. I scroll through 9gag.com occasionally and almost every other post says something stupid and I automatically correct it in my head. How are employers supposed to know that I'm a great editor without letting me show them.

And that's where school comes in. At least I have that associates degree that cost me $10,000+ of my own money so I can maybe get a leg up on maybe a third of the competition. Entry level? if only I heard that more often when applying for all these positions. I can't wait to show my real worth in the workplace and not just "uh... I worked as a barista for 2 years and now I want a real job so... I have an associates degree...Hire me?" One day. one day...

Okay. I'm going to go apply for more jobs. Wish me luck.
love, Ellen

May 22: Rant

I seriously haven't figured out why they haven't outlawed socks with sandals yet. I saw two horrible cases today. When I walked into work today, there was a lady with socks and sandals and sweat pants with a gaudy bag and a weird backwards hat. Eugh. Then, as I was leaving, I saw a guy with socks and sandals and a pokemon shirt and flood pants. Excuse me, the 1990's called; they want their weird-o back.

Mostly, I don't even like sandals. There are some looks that are great with sandals but those wearing the outfits are always girls. Men's sandals are the absolute worst, especially when paired with long baggy pants that are just dragging along the ground being ruined with every step. It just makes me sick. Sandals or long pants: pick ONE. ew. Men's feet are just gross. I don't know... they're just gross to me.

And that's my rant.
love, Ellen

May 21: High 5

My 5 favorite blog posts of mine:

1. http://elleohellen.blogspot.com/2012/06/hbd-mom-also-music.html - I like this post because it's a birthday shout-out to my mom, it's got some of my favorite bands, and I predict my future.
2. http://elleohellen.blogspot.com/2012/09/on-crying.html - I don't particularly know why I love this one. I just do.
3. http://elleohellen.blogspot.com/2012/02/one-big-step.html - I like this one because I announce that Sean and I are dating. You can sense my nervous-but-excitedness. 
4. http://elleohellen.blogspot.com/2012/07/seans-got-new-carr.html - This one's kind of obvious because it's my engagement story. So sweet!
5. http://elleohellen.blogspot.com/2012/12/things-that-will-forever-have-happened.html - This is my most favorite post because it's where I dish all the weird-o stuff that happened at my wedding and I really get a kick out of it every time I read it.

2 and a half more weeks until we go to Minnesota! I seriously can't wait. I've already created a packing list and we've got a cat-sitter lined up and some snacks picked out. So excited. Okay. I'm going to go watch more Arrested Development in preparation for Sunday. Yay! 

Happy May 21!

love, Ellen

May 20: Struggle

So I skipped Sunday and Monday is late... Anyway.

To be honest, I'm not really struggling much with anything particularly right now. Except maybe thinking up something for this post... hah. nevermind.

Well, there's going to be a lot of transitions in my life soon. This summer alone, Sean and I are going on a trip to MN, we're moving 30 minutes north, I'm quitting my job and finding a new job (hopefully)... it's a lot. I think maybe part of the struggle with all this is money. It's not that we're broke, but moving, losing a job, and a vacation can really soak up a lot of cash. We're eating in more and not going places as much, but it's still rough.

and that's what i'm struggling with.
love, ellen

May 18: Childhood

I feel bad for posting this so late but it's been quite a day. Sean and I took a box of junk to the DI and then got a bunch of records for cheap and then ate breakfast at The Park Cafe in SLC. Seriously, guys. If you are ever in the mood for breakfast foods and you're in the SLC area, go there. Everything is so delicious and quick and it's worth the wait. It's just across the street from the Tracy Aviary so you can make a day of it. Then we went to Sean's brother Jeremiah and his girlfriend Kayla's house and ate tons of junk food and watched Star Wars and just hung out. So much fun.

Anyway... Today's topic is on a story from my childhood. How about the time I kicked my sister in the mouth and her teeth fell out.

One day, Abby and I were at our neighbor's house playing games. A common game we would play with these particular neighbors was gymnastics. We set aside an area to practice our hand-stands and marked it off with barbies. Everyone was supposed to stand behind the barbie while the person in front of them did a handstand.

I stood in line right in front of Abby and, eventually, it was my turn to hand-stand. I stepped forward and did the lunge and went for it. As my back foot went up, my heel whacked Abby right in the mouth. I came back down and turned around and noticed that Abby had stepped in front of the barbie (or so my innocent mind believed... as far as I know, I might not have been far enough past the barbie). With eyes welling up with tears, Abby put her hand up to her mouth and caught 2 baby-sized teeth as they fell out as a result of the kick. I grabbed Abby around her shoulders and walked her home where my mom could calm her down and teach her the wonders of the tooth fairy.

And that wasn't even the first time I had ever whacked Abby in the face... there was another time where I ran into her with a gate we would swing on and caused her to need to get her forehead glued.
Oh, my life as the older sibling. I'm sure other older siblings have similar experiences right? Probably. And here is my public apology to Abby: I am sorry for all the times I whacked you in the face.

love, Ellen

aww... isn't she pretty? also, her birthday is at the end of this month! 

May 17: Selfie

I think this is my favorite picture of myself. It was the night before July 4th when Sean and I were waiting for a fireworks show. Sean instagrammed this and wrote "I love this girl!" and then 4 days later, after me turning 19 and him buying a car, we were engaged. A crazy week! Also I love how good my teeth look and how absolutely happy I am. It really shows off how happy Sean makes me, I think.

love, Ellen

May 16: Lots

I don't know if I would say I have a very difficult life. I found a husband young, I did well in school, I have some friends, I don't go hungry, I have nice things... However, if I were to say I had a 'lot in my life' I would say that I'm almost always either sick or injured.

Let me explain. I have allergies and just tend to be sick often. I either have tummy troubles or girl problems or a cold or any number of things. They usually don't last all that long, maybe a couple of days but then while I'm not feeling 100%, I hurt myself. It's not always a bad injury, mostly just small cuts and bruises from being klutzy or my demon cat scratching me or being an idiot with my razor or paper cuts or head bonks from walking into doors... any number of things.

For example, last Saturday I had a run-in with the concrete when the skateboard got frustrated with my inexperience and I incurred a baseball-sized bruise on my left hip. Then on Sunday night, I spent a lot of the time I should have been sleeping either throwing up or enduring nausea with a stomach bug I probably got from someone at work or something.

Similarly, a couple months ago I had a similar stomach bug and then stupidly got my foot squished in the la-z-boy. Ironic, right?

And that's my lot. I'll be fine, it's nothin' I can't handle.

"I'm a tough girl... I lace my own sandals and everything." - Megara (Hercules)

love, Ellen

This is me when I was sick sometime last year and then fell asleep on Sean's lap while he watched Transformers. 

May 15: Day in My Life

Well, my day started out like any other. I woke up...

and then I hopped in the shower...

and put some clothes on. 

Then I went to work and made drinks, organized stuff, like I do.

Photo courtesy of Jason Davis

And then came home to a tree that was snowing buds all over the place and making a mess of my car.

Then I made my bed...

and did the dishes like a good wife should.

I took a picture of the cat...

and then we waited for dad to come home.

sorry for this crappy picture... eh.

Soon, Sean will come home, we'll have dinner and then probably play scrabble. 

And that is a day in my life.

Welcome to it.

love, ellen

May 14: 10 Things

10 Things... that make me HAPPY!

1. Sean. He's the number 1 thing in my life that makes me the happiest. He makes me laugh, he cooks for me, he taught me how to play catch, he watches my dumb shows with me. He just makes me incredibly happy every day.
2. My family. I love my family and every time I hang out with them, they make me laugh and we have a great time. Also, they send cute cat pictures that make me happy too.
3. Sun. I love looking out my windows in the morning and see the sun peaking through the trees and brightening my day.
4. Driving with the windows down and the music up. I love the wind blowing through my hair and rocking out to my jamzz. 
5. A clean house. I feel like I can only truly relax once the dishes are done and put away, the bed is made, the laundry is put away, etc. 
6. Showers. There comes a point every day where I feel so incredibly gross that I need to take a shower, even if I took a night one. Showers take care of my body and my brain. 
7. New things. I love having a new shirt to wear or new shampoo to use or new food to eat or new gadgets to show off. 
8. My friends. When I'm bored and they're not busy, I love hanging out with my friends. 
9. Organizing. I know, I'm crazy. I love taking everything out of the closet and rearranging it to make it fit best and getting rid of unnecessary junk that we keep around. It makes me happy.
10. Dancing. I love getting my wiggles out and letting my worries go free through my fingers and toes.  

I hope you can be happy today too!
love, ellen

May 12: Missing, May 13: Sorry

Something/one I'm missing?

Mostly, I've just been missing my Grandma. She passed away when I was 13 after a lot of health battles and I think I miss her the most because I wish I could have gotten to know her more and I wish that she could have been at my wedding. I mean, I know she was, but I remember going to some young women's thing after she died that had a marriage theme and realizing that she wouldn't be there and crying a lot. Sean's grandma died when he was on his mission and he misses her a lot too. I think because it's (was) Mother's Day, she's definitely in our thoughts. I miss you, Grandma!

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A public apology:

Dear public, 

I am sorry for being so incredible all the time. I know you wish you could live up to my awesomeness but it's just not possible. No, I cannot dress you, you cannot have my life, and I can't teach you my ways. However, I will give you some advice depending on the situation and whatever you do with it is your business. Good luck with life, you can't have mine. 

Sorry, 

ellen

May 11: Advertised

1: No one can buy me, Sean already has me.
2: That girl who thinks she's cool and might actually be.

I thought I should share two. I mean, I could go forever with words describing me but then I figured I should make them sentences.

Have a Happy Saturday, all!
love, Ellen

May 10: Embarrassed

I don't really get embarrassed ever. The only time I really ever remember being totally embarrassed, I was in high school. 

I was sitting with a bunch of my friends and that day, my crush decided to come sit with us too. He finished his food about the same time I did and I offered to take care of his tray for him. I got up to throw them away and, little did I know, but I had stepped right into a trap. We had to keep our backpacks at the edge of the table because it was booth-style seating and my foot had gotten itself caught in one of the straps. As you can imagine, I came tumbling down with the tray in hand. I'm sure my face went purple as I stood up, tried to laugh it off, and proceeded to throw the trash away. 

And that was the most embarrassing moment of my life. 

love, Ellen

May 9: A Single Moment

I cleaned my house very well today. It was one of those days where I got everything done and it all looks fabulous. At one point in my cleaning, I piled all of Sean's shoes on top of our laundry hamper so I could vacuum under them. This is that time:

And now, everything is vacuumed and put away and wiped down. Now I can just relax and work on my resume... and that's what I'm going to do.

love, ellen

May 8: Advised

One of my best friends from high school once gave me some great advice and it's stuck with me for quite a while. She wrote me a letter and gave it to me on the last day of school and I still read it often.
Here's a quote from it:

"1. THE OPPORTUNITY TRAIN IS VERY IMPORTANT. Always jump on that train my dear. I know, a lot of times the train can be very scary and intimidating. In all actuality, the train is the least intimidating thing in existence."

I remember when I was first interested in Sean, I jumped on so many opportunity trains to get to know him better. There was one train that just stopped and waited for me to get on for so long and I finally just did it. I walked across the room after a ward activity and talked to the guy I had a huge crush on and then I invited him to go play a game at a friend's house. That train has been the best one of my whole life and I am thankful every day that I boarded and never have to get off.
Thank you, Lexi. Your advice has propelled me right into my future.

Right now, in my life, I'm looking for a new job and Sean and I are looking for a new home closer to my parents. There are so many opportunity trains just waiting for me to board and it really is scary. It's been 2 years since I've had a job interview and the jobs I'm looking at most likely aren't looking for someone as young and inexperienced as I am, but I've got to start somewhere and if I don't apply and try, how am I supposed to start?

Anyway, if you're having a hard time jumping on that train, just do it. What have you got to lose? When those opportunity trains arrive, get on. They might kick you back off, but another train that might be going in the direction you need could be right behind it. Just do it.

love, Ellen.

May 7: a-feared

I am absolutely terrified of heights. There are some heights that I can handle, like on top of a mountain, but I cannot handle a cliff or a tall building. I don't know why I'm afraid of heights, but I can't stand them. Same with roller coasters. I just don't like going fast and being high up and then going down. It's no fun.

And those are things I'm afraid of. 

love, ellen.

May 6: what I do.

+ I wife.
+ I clean.
+ I paint.
+ I sculpt.
+ I write.
+ I read.
+ I edit.
+ I create.
+ I play.
+ I sleep.

May 5: lovin'

I have a friend named Erica.
She's probably the coolest person that I've known since junior high.
Oh, the days of horrible boy bands, fan-girling, and lots of fits of laughter.
She has a blog. This. She's a really great writer.
We have fun and we're going to have barbecues this summer.

May 4: Quoted

self-explanatory and delightful. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got my hair cut off today. I am so happy with it! It's going to be so nice for summer and it really makes me look sophisticated, i think.

before: 

after:

That's all for today.

love, Ellen

May 3: Discomfort

I don't get uncomfortable very easily. Whenever awkward situations happen, I can shrug it off pretty well but there is one thing that will get my goat every time no matter what. Feet. I can't stand them. They are just ugly and smelly and weird-shaped and toes and... I just don't like them. I hate when guys wear flip flops. Girls' feet aren't as bad, but mens' feet are gross. I hate even more when they wear flip flops and long pants. One or the other, guys. Seriously.

There are a couple other things that unsettle me, too: heights, chalkboards, and hoarders, to name a few. But I think the worst is when someone takes their shoes and socks off and touch me with their feet. Even if they're too near food I get grossed out.

That's enough feet talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GUESS WHAT. I get my hair cut tomorrow morning. I'm so excited! I'm also a little nervous and so is Sean because I haven't had short hair for so long. Good thing he's stuck with me forever! hah. love. 

I made a date night jar. It's going to be fun. Most of the things in there are things we'd do anyway but sometimes Sean pulls out the "It's your day" card and I want to punch a wall. Not really... but this jar will hopefully fix all the things! 

That's all. 

love, Ellen

May 2: Know It All

On Saturday, I'm getting my hair cut off. I'm going from 10 inches to maybe 2 or 3 inches at it's longest. I really can't wait. 

Here is how you cut your hair (for all of you interested in getting it off but still nervous about what it would look like):

1: Find a look that you like and think you could do in 5 minutes in the morning. A good way to go about doing this is pinterest search or google "short hair cuts for women" and then browse through your options. 

2: Set a goal to do it. The last time I cut it all off, I just up and did it. This time, however, it was a little bit harder because I had worked so long and hard to get my hair to be long. A good end date for your goal might be something like a: When school ends, b: When I run out of shampoo, c: Saturday, etc.

3: Make an appointment with your barber. This is crucial because you shouldn't be doing such drastic things to your hair without the help of a professional. Also, make sure it's someone you trust and have been to before. It's a big deal for you and you don't want some beauty school amateur chopping at your scalp with scissors. (No offense intended, beauty school people) Another thing, you want to tell your barber that it might take a while so they can schedule enough time to get it right.

4: Take a copy of the photo you previously found and give it to your barber. This helps solidify your idea and make you look fabulous. 

5: Sit back and relax. For me, getting a haircut is the most relaxing massage ever. And then when your hair cut is finished...

6: Ta da! New hair! A fresh start for your hair and an easy way to cool down in the summer. Enjoy!

love, ellen

May 1: life in a paragraph

I'm doing this. It's a real goal and I really will do it.

I started off living in Ogden, UT. From there, my family moved approximately 7 times and then I turned 9 and we settled down in a real house. It was hard for me to find friends but I got along by hanging out with my mom a lot and asking people if I could sit by them at lunch.  I graduated from high school with honors and went to college an hour south of home and quickly met and fell in love with an incredible guy from Minnesota. We dated exactly 5 months, were engaged in a dinosaur museum, and married in a little temple just outside the Twin Cities. Now I'm graduated with my associates, still working as a barista, and learning how to play catch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Isn't that fun! I like blogging and this is great because it has prompts that are solid! awesome. 

But it is true, Sean bought me a new mitt and we've been playing catch. I'm proud to say that he's impressed with my ability to throw a baseball and i'm still working on my catching... haha. It's actually a whole lot of fun being able to spend time with my husband doing things we like. 

okay, have a great day! see you tomorrow!

love, ellen