He works at the Far-Mar.

I should really start re-reading my last blog posts to know what i already said before i start a new one and have to re-tell everything...

Anyway, So did i tell you about Carl? he's this guy in my English class that i've never talked to but i fb stalked a little last weekend and i have a crush on him. Today in class, our prof told us how he ate a cheeseburger a while ago and felt guilty and then ate a fancy meal he originally purchased from the far-mar and Carl says "Which farmers' market did you go to?" and prof says "the one in SL" and then carl says "Oh, you should come to the one in Murray. I work there." and i was like (in my head) "no. way." and now i just wanna marry him. so yeah. i mean there's other stuff like he looks nice with some stubble and he dresses well and wears glasses. all i've gotta do is talk to him... hm. well that'll happen. maybe...

i made me some chicken today but, being an idiot, didn't get it out to thaw early enough and then ended up being some minutes late to work because the chicken too forever. but it's alright. i'm eating it now and it's fine. and i'm eating a really delish pb bar from the B&B and i heart it. it reminds me of elementary school when i'd bring 50 cents and buy one to go with my lunch on special occasions (those being that i had been able to gain 50 cents). they were incredible. this brings me right back. except that they're a lot more expensive now (what isnt?) and i'm not in elem. anymore. and also we'd get them from Dick's in C-ville and chow down for fhe. good times.

Ugh, my allergies are starting to pop up. i'm all tired and runny-nosed and itchy/watery eyed and scratchy-throat'd. bad news. lucky, though, i got some allergy meds form my parents for my birthday. (p.s. i just typed that whole sentence with my eyes closed. yeah, boy. (although, i did fix my errors after.. still counts.))

I hate saying i'm debating on going to bed now or watching doctor who. i need to catch up before this weekend but they're all on my flatmate's lappy and i wouldn't feel comfortable snatching it up without her here. or whatever. and it's like 10:30. i've still gotta do some french devoirs. boo.

anyway, i low you.
Love, Elle (eventh doctor, Matt Smith)

Oh, boy...(s)

"Wanna hear my boy problems?" was another idea for this blog title.. but i went with this so yeah.
And i got my hair cut! it's pretty awesome. once i get a chance, i'll upload a pic and stuff. rad.
now to the boys!

k. I told you bout that guy with the asking for my number? so yeah. basically, after that, i got sick (like ill sick). so cool. and i'm just having trouble convincing myself to go on this one date with him. I will. but i don't want a relationship. at all. because i'm still trying to get the hang of college and stuff - trying to figure myself out as well. I don't wanna break the guy's heart, but i also don't want to break my own life. or something.. pretend that was inspirational or something. k rad.

also.. i have a crush on this guy from my English class. and (i'm not a creep, promise) i found out his last name from our class roster. what a lovely thing! and, basically, it's going no where. but that's okay! like i told my mom, crushes are better than broken hearts.

Luckily, i got to lay out all my boy problems on my mate who went to hair-cut with me. What a nice guy. and i've been able to get a lot of good advice from my boss and my co-workers and my mommy and Erchap. so that'll be good. I'm so lucky to have such nice and understanding people in my life!

Also, this is me sitting at home on a friday night. I'm watching an old fave - "AFV IS OOOONNNNNN" (something we used to say in my house a lot when i was a kid, with it being my fave show and all...) and i have some things to do tomorrow. like a "tranning meeting" (aka a training meeting - my boss doesn't know how to spell very well and we like to kid around) and an RS dinner and broadcast. And I think an old friend from home and I are going to do something. Yay! I think it'll be fun.

okay. that's enough for now.
love, Ellen.

It all happened so fast...

foreal. i know i just posted like yesterday, but i feel this day needs a little more recognition.

So today:

I run late for class. My flatmate was in the shower and i needed to be. then i was sort of an idiot and drove past my turn. then i got to class (like 2 minutes late) and the teacher hadn't come in yet. we took a quiz, i talked to him about the state of my group project (no bueno) and then i went to french. normal. had a laugh. went home for lunch and some studying. back to school for Lit class. almost fell asleep... i've been so tired lately... eh. change, go to work. do some work stuff...
(here's the (first) good part) then get asked if i wanna "grab a bite sometime" from this guy in my lit class who has a goatee and likes punk rock and wears a newsies hat every day. so i give him my number and the rest of work is so... uuuughhh. so long and busy but boring. the norm, i spose.
Then i call mom and talk to the whole fam about it (minus abby. she was in the tub and when i called her back something happened and blah.) did my homework, watched tv, chatted with Erchap and planned a haircut trip with Matt B. and then i change and go to FHE. I chill and chat and watch some crazy exciting marshmallow wars rage. then we go to del taco. turns out my home teachers are hispanic and black and cook a meal for me. sah-wheat! at del taco we chill and bring up too many innuendos (seriously) and my wardie-with-a-beard says he likes Dr. Who. oh, my awesome. chat chat laugh laugh. come home, finish my homework, chat with flatmates, plan my envt group thing (finally.... sheesh) and then my new glasses from Zenni Optical come! wooooooo!

 and i get a cool AP-i'm-awesome certificate deal. rad rad raaaad. and i go to bed, basically. well.. i will. awesommme. seriously rad day.

heartslash ellafella

Salut! Comment vas-tu?

translation: Hey, how goes it?

So i told you i'm taking a french class. it's good. good times. funny and i'm learning and stuff and right now i'm trying to watch Amelie but it's kinda crappin out on me. i get extra cred if i do. so i am. yay.
I'm also in an Intermediate Writing class (aka English 201H) and i already told you how much i suck at it.
and my Lit class is super rad and, even though i don't feel like the wisest one there, i definitely fit in and feel comfortable there.
and my Environment class is great except for the group project. i hate group projects. especially this one. It basically feels like i'll be doing whatever work we actually do and/or i'll be put in another group and made to feel somewhat like an outsider. great... not. this sucks. stupid acid rain and crap group.

and work is good. I'm getting a lot better at figuring things out on my own without having to ask my manager or co-workers how to do things. better.

I just got back from a quick trip home. It was full of babies. but that's a good thing. A really cute baby shower for my cousin's girlfriend and a baby shower for my other cousin's newest baby girl (stinking ADORABLE.) And sorta now that i'm all grown up (not) i can fit in a little better with my cousins... or not. i mean maybe it'll be better when i'm married but it's kinda tough when basically all your cousins are married with kids and all there is to do at family parties is to talk about school. school is great. that's all. pretty bland subject, but whatever. i love my fam, don't get me wrong, it's just that abby and i could definitely use some fun conversation or memories of games to reminisce about, ya know?

eh. uhm. Oh, yah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! That's like the main reason i went home. I got him a fun board game and mom and abby got him a shiatsu massager chair thing (really rad, btdubs). Unfortunately, though, mom got sick so that was a bummer. it's okay. We had a good dinner and watch some of the emmys and i drank some sips of a virgin bloody mary (ew ew ew ew) and got my food handlers permit. hooplah.

other than that, that's all. and i'm tired. and i love you. probably.
love, Elle (est amusant).

60: how many times 10 i am an idiot today.

yeah, that didn't make sense. But i'll explain, cool your jets. this is my 60th post. and 60 times 10 is 600. and i am 600% idiot today.

Number 1: I go to school. everything is normal. i chat with old-friend Laura about my high school friends she's gonna go visit. I would go with her but i'm going home for the weekend for my pop's birthday. anyway... french is normal too. blah blah. then i go to the library, buy a bag of chips for 77 cents with my discount, and sit down for an hour to do my homework. At about 11:53, i saunter into my English class. turns out my brain was an idiot. It mixed up the time of my Lit class with me English class. English starts at 11:30. Luckily, it's one of the longest class i have, so i didn't miss too much.

Number 2: except the whole point of the essay. I spent so much effort on this paper about a commercial - any commercial i wanted. I chose a reasonable commercial about a cell phone. i spent all night last night analyzing this stupid advert and then i get to class late, and i find out that the commercial is supposed to be about food. cuss. cuss. oh, my gosh. WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT IN THIS CLASS? seriously. we've written about 3 things for this class - 2 of them being like a daily work deal and the other one this paper. how many i've missed the point of? 3. seriously.

It's not a hard class, really. I understand the subject matter just fine, it's the writing i suck so much at. I guess i get confused at what he's asking and then i just end up digging myself into an embarrassing pit. fuuunn...

anyway... i'm going to go to walmart before i go to work. woo. okay.
kiloveyoubye
-Elle s'apElle Ellen.
(french translation: her name is Ellen.)

9-11 10th

10 years ago today, devastation hit a country as two airplanes hit two buildings.
In this post, i plan on sharing my 8-year-old version of the story.

Tuesday morning. i wake up, i put on my clothes (skipping the shower because i hated them as a 4th grader), i go into the kitchen in our little duplex and i put some Eggo waffles in the toaster. I get out the peanut butter and the knife and all of a sudden, i hear the tv in the living room turn on. We never had the tv on because it would, without fail, make me late for school.
Mom and Dad are watching the tv. The start shouting. What? It's not a football match, we never watch those. I have no idea what's going on. So i walk into the living room, risking my being on time, to find my parents' eyes glued to the television. I take a peek and see show with a couple tall buildings and some smoke. I remember asking "what is it?" and mom just said "look!" and i looked and it just looked like a bunch of special effects. Why are we watching a movie in the morning?
[something along the lines of] "This plane just crashed into the Twin Towers!" my mom shouted. I couldn't comprehend. it still seemed unreal. fictional, even. I went back into the kitchen thinking things like "I don't understand what the big deal is about this..." and then a scream - the second plane had crashed into the second building. I went back into the living room and saw the plane smash into the building. they showed it at least 3 times while i was in there. I'm still thinking "fictional. it's a movie. this isn't funny, even. ugh."
I ate my waffles and packed up my backpack and walked to school [i'm pretty sure.. i usually did so i don't see why i wouldn't have..].

It wasn't until my teacher turned on the tv in the classroom and explained to me what happened and the moment of silence initiated by the president that it occurred to me how different things would be - how extreme the situation really was.

It was only a few months (or was it weeks? or years? well it was for sure a while after 9/11) that i was driving around SLC with my family, looking up at what i knew to be tall buildings [now i realize that they're nothing compared to New York, but remember, i was 8] that i asked my parents "Are we gonna have to go to war?" of course we were. I'd learned about wars in my class, but i don't think i could comprehend that it was a real thing. All history was just stories. This is when the world became real to me.

And now i'm living on my own and i live in the real world daily. From 8 to 18, i'm in the real world and it's alright. Every day i'm finding out new things and learning more about myself. and it's all fun.
Love, Ellen
p.s. i broke 600 pageviews!

While I've got a minute...

i guess i'd better post a little something.

Uhm... it's been really really great. and also tiring and stressful and tiring and painful. not like pain as in sorrow but as in my feet are killing me and tiring not as in boring but as in i seriously almost fell asleep in one of my classes today and i can't even remember which one it is.

my main problem, as of late, is that i have to keep checking and double and triple checking everything just to make sure i don't make a fool of myself and forget an important paper or to study or to do some homework. i seriously need to maintain my gpa so i can keep getting scholarships and going to school.

Also, i have this carton of eggs in my fridge and i feel bad about it, but i haven't used them yet and i feel i need to. I have used up a lot of my milk, though. I've already bought 2 1/2 gallons since i lived here and i'm down to like... 3/8 of a gallon. and it expired yesterday... but it still tasted good... i might have to make something with it. the problem is, i'm too lazy to cook and nothing sounds good and i don't have time to cook.

because i'm constantly cooking up something at work. sort of.. i don't really cook all that often. just sandwiches and the occasional hot dog or coffee. i mainly clean up and work the register. which i dig.

Oh, i went home for the weekend. it was cool. and kind of totally weird. I don't know... It just didn't feel... right, i guess. It was like i didn't belong there anymore. I kept speeding around everywhere and getting antsy when driving because i'm more used to all the traffic and higher speed limits around here.

one of the only things i think i'm having the most trouble with out here is meeting people and making friends. I have my friends at work and my friends at BYU but i can't ever seem to make friends who are my classmates. And i still feel like everyone is so much older and more experienced than me. It might be because half of my classes have prerequisites that i took in high school and the other half just happen to have excess amounts of not freshman. i think i might've met one freshman in all of my classes and she's from... guess. Bountiful. like me. So... that's great...

and we got our project groups today for my Envt class. i'm working with someone whose first day was today and another who has only gone to one other day of class. great... here's hoping we can make acid rain sound more interesting than.. regular rain... or something.

uhm.. other than that, there's not much to report. I bought the new Chameleon Circuit album the other day. hoo resh! or something else.

love, ellen.