The Internship

As I'm sure you've probably noticed by now, I've been a horrible blogger since I started my internship. I just have one thing to say. This internship has been incredible for me. The company I'm working for is beyond excellent, the people I work with are all so nice and fun to be around, I've learned so much and I'm so appreciative of having this whole experience.

I've also been pretty busy. Last weekend, Sean and I got back from a much needed week-long road trip to the Oregon coast with my family. We stayed in a fantastic condo right on the ocean, ate delicious food and got some good rest. Here are a few of photos from the trip:

This is me wearing some rad ammonite earrings while walking on the beach with the hub.

Famous Carr family pose, pointing in directions. Such weirdos ;)

#seaselfie with the hubs. We like walking on the beach.

Sunset. Maybe you can see two blobs on the beach, that's Sean and I.

Close-up of the hand-made ammonite earrings. #prehistoricjewelry

This is the handsome hub-cap totally lovin' crab fishing with my dad. 

The sis and I building a rad sandcastle. Meanwhile, Sean was in a fight with the ocean. It was a draw.

The view from our first night's balcony. The Hood River.

Also, Abby Graduated High School!! Congrats-o!

So I would say it was a success! 

Other than that, Sean and I have been going to Bountiful a lot and, for father's day weekend, we went up to my Grandpa's and went to the Ogden Art Festival. Such talent! And for father's day, we went up to B-town and made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and then went out for treats in SLC. We went to Harmon's and got dessert treats and cheeses. Newest Fave Cheese: Wisconsin Butterkase. If you ever get the chance, best cheese. 

AND! We finally have a moving day! I've posted before about our difficult living situations, and we finally have plans to move in with my parents at the end of August so we can save money to buy a house! I know living at home will be a struggle sometimes, but thus is life and if it will get us ahead, that's great. And I completely appreciate my parent's generosity in letting us stay with them. 

Today is a kind of gloomy-weather day. Something I've been wanting for kind of a while. When it's gorgeous outside, I get restless and we end up spending too much money doing something. Days like this, we usually go grocery shopping or just stay inside and relax. 

Anyway, I'm gonna go nap or watch a movie. Thanks for not giving up on me as a blogger. 

love, Ellen

Adventure Time

Sorry I've been away so long... It was finals week and stuff. But I haven't gone anywhere, just busy.

So last week was finals. Guys... I'm GRADUATED! My diploma should be coming in the mail any day now. YAY! Now I'm just going to keep working at the library cafe for a few more months and then I'll be finding an adult job. Yeah, baby! Look who's all grown up. It's me.

That first part about not having gone anywhere isn't totally true. Sean and I decided to take a Saturday to go explore a national park - Bryce Canyon. It was so gorgeous and full of cliffs... I was terrified. However, Sean and I went on 2 hikes about a mile long apiece. The first one went along the edge of the canyon and you could see right down into the vast expanse. On the second hike, we went down into the canyon a ways and went under an arch and through a crevasse. Although it was super tiring, it was way fun!

As you're sure to find out within the next milliseconds, Sean really had fun with the panorama capabilities on my phone (HTC Radar)

 This is down. See? Cliffs. So scary.

 check out this majestic view!

This one was from our hike down in just before we turned around and started to head out.

See! Gorgeous.

One more thing, next Saturday... I'm finally getting my hair cut! perfect for the summertime. I can't wait to get all this weight, I mean hair off my shoulders! It's going to be so cute! I'll post before and after pics (if i can remember to take one just before..).

Okay, I gotta get ready for church!
love, Ellen

maxin' relaxin.

It's been so long since I posted. A good 2 weeks, I'd say. Mostly, I've just been hanging out, cleaning the house, working, doing school stuff. Normal. It's my spring break this week and I'm going to go hang out with my friend Erin today and I'm so excited. I haven't hung out with this girl in much too long. I can't wait to gossip and freak out with her like old times. 

On Monday, Sean and I went to the pet store for Reggie food slash new ground for his cage (which he's totally loving) and kitty no-mark stuff because she's dumb and pees in the living room. She also drinks out of the toilet when she has a perfectly delicious automatically-refilling water bowl in the kitchen that she doesn't even have to climb to get to. She loves pushing her water dish around which makes the floor wet and I just don't understand her. At least she's been letting us pet her without attacking our hands now... I want a dog. haha

So I broke broke my new phone. I broke it 6 days after getting it by it slipping off my lap onto the ground in front of the church and then it just got more broken so I'm using Sean's old nugget-of-a-phone with slow connections and gross-sounding ringtones until my new one comes this week. I even bought a  new case for the new one so I don't go smashing it again. It's clean white and I wrote some of my favorite quotes on it. 

One week until the Hub-Cap's birthday! I already have one thing for him, I just have to pick up a couple more things and we'll be partying all over! I just hope I can top last year's awesome present:

This on a tee-shirt! Get it? Transformers + Star Wars? awesome. It's Hot Rod becoming Rodimus Prime! in the fashion of Star Wars? I'm so cool. 

I think I'm gonna go read something. Wanna know the craziest thing? I don't really have any homework over Spring Break. I had my midterm the last day of Brit. Lit., the only thing I had to do for my Creative Writing class is email a short list of personal quirks to the prof., and we never have homework in my Prehistoric Life class. I only have to read through and do a light edit of a story for my Editing class. Super cake. This is the BEST semester! and I'm so glad I'm going out with a bang. I can't wait to have my associates in April! 

Okay, for real this time. Later! Have a super fly week!

love, Ellen

BestLife

is how i am. what? my mind is still not working at full capacity. I think it's part euphoria, part sleep deprivation.
I'll tell you why.

Graduation. That happened. ANd it was fab. I got my diploma and I didn't fall asleep and I got a lot of money from my family who loves me and I thank you so much for it! It will for sure help me in college. Which is coming up. wholey canoli. what? yeah. The only bummer about graduation is not being able to see all those i associate with all the time every day anymore. but that's okay. Another door about to open! And my geometrical rediculous cap kept falling off. ugh. but still yay.

I've been staying out super late lately. Because my parents are awesome. And because Matt Smith is amazing and awesome and kept inviting me to fun and it rocked. Also there was an all night party after graduation. And it rocked! I played games, won some prizes, and got the best hugs ever :). This is where euphoria meets sleep deprivation. I think I hear a summer romance? (is that a thing you can hear? probably). Anyway. I had a blast and stayed up all night (went to bed at 5:30 am. woo.) and it was just amazing. All the way.

I haven't been feeling up-to-par in the health department lately, but my mom says it's because of the euphoria. I haven't been eating well and nothing sounds good and I'm just pooped out all the time. BUt she says she didn't eat for like 3 weeks after she met my dad and felt the same way. So we're going with that. The illness of euphoria. hah. I love it.

oh. and seminary graduation happened. I spoke, people congratulated me. it was cool. not much to report but i did it. hooorah.

Here's some shout-outs.
-First, to my incredible family who have helped me to get here and always loving me, no matter what.
-To my Granny for attending both my graduations and supporting me all these years.
-To my Grandpa for making a huge donation in my favor for college. Thanks, G-pa!
-To Lexi for showing me how you never know what will happen until you try and for supporting me and being an incredible friend.
-To Matt Smith for making my last days of high school magical and for just being amazing.
-To Erin, Maggie, Mandy, Ashley, Karlie, Hannah, Teresa, and Rachel. May we always be besties and bridesmaids ;).

Love, Ellen

And in the end...

i could end that title with "the love you take is equal to the love you make" and make it a Beatles thing (which, you know I would) but this has nothing to do with taking or making love. it's the end of the year. and it all comes to a screeching halt.

I've been restless, bored, stressed, apprehensive, nervous, excited, tired, and all the other emotions that come with graduating high school. I especially love telling everybody, even the people I don't know and will probably never see ever again, that i'm graduating. I'm just so ready and I just know this is what i'm supposed to be doing. Every time I see a "Congrats, Grad!" balloon or a cake with a graduation cap on it, i say "that's me! I'm graduating!" and then i want a balloon or cake.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better." It kinda sounds like "make life" but I want to say it means that you've got to try new things to make your life better and what's newer than starting fresh by graduating from the old, mundane life that is high school?

Abby's been having a tough time lately and i just keep telling her "wait until high school, it's always getting better." And it really is. There is no way i would go back to elementary school or junior high or, heaven forbid, sophomore year. There is just no way. I'm glad i had the experiences and all, but i'm ready to move forward and start this new leg of my life.

It's just going to be a challenge. An ongoing battle against all odds that is daily making me stop and thing "oh, my. Is this all for real? Or am I stuck in an 'inception' moment?" I end up pinching myself and realizing, boom, it's happening. and it's tough. Finding a job is the worst of it, for now at least... Once I gain employment, it'll all be uphill and I will be able to have a good time in college.

I think I'll end with a quote by Paul McCartney (yeah, sorry. I had to.) that goes
"I never look forward, because I have no idea how any of it happened to getting here. I've no idea how the next five years are going to be." Which is just so true. I'm sending my future self a letter and it'll be interesting to see what I was in 5 years time.

Sincerely,
Ellen
Class of '11
(hey, that rhymed. unintentional.)

Break on Through.

yeah. still in that 60's kick... hah. well, that's okay because there's so much to love.

I can't believe it's almost OVER!! I'm getting more and more excited every day. Seriously. All the nervousness and anxiety is gone. All the AP and CE tests are over, all i've gotta do is make it through class without killing myself from boredom and i'm home-free. WOO!! Let's see.. i've still got seminary graduation, baccalaureate, senior banquet, senior panoramic pic, senior ditch day, GRADUATION, and All night Party! Yip!

We're going up to snowbird soon because my ma's boss is letting us borrow her condo. It's gonna just be an awesome time relaxing, cooking, playing games, looking at scenery, staying warm (snuggies!woo!), and bonding. I can't wait! And plus missing class is always the bomb.

I've been taking a lot of naps lately... like i slept for at least 4 hours today after school.. well... it was more like 2 (let's see... from about 3 to 4:40.. yeah. 2 sounds right.) And I only did some homework. like writing a letter about an addiction simulation i went through. I will NEVER get into drugs or alcohol. Way too much work hiding it and i definitely don't want to spend money on crap like that.

I also wrote a bucket list. or part of one... I'm going to finish it and post it up here cuz who doesn't love a bucket list? 'Cept I wanna call it something like "List o' Mania" (lol, liztomania by pheonix...) or "Ellen's List of Achievable Possibilities" or something. something good. Any suggestions, feel free to tell me. like a comment or something. ya know.

I'm doing a portrait for my drawing class and after thinkin bout it and deciding I should do something meaningful for my mom or family or something... so i'm doing a picture of my Grandma Jones when she was 16. Why didn't she pass on her incredible beauty to me? I mean, 16 YEARS OLD. i'll post a pic or something sometime. cuz she's just so great.

OH. How could I forget?! I went to Lagoon with my mates: Hannah (for her clogging competition), Erin, Maggie, Mandy, Karlie, Rachel, and Ashley. We had a BALL! I can't believe I actually went on rides. I'm such a wuss and I went on rides!! WOO! I went on Bombora (twice. seriously, it rocks my pansy-world.), the White Roller Coast (why. why do i do this to myself? worst.), The Bat (meh. I got sick. but that's norm for me), Flying Aces (last time, i threw up. This time, minimal nausea. but still some...), Space Scrambler (twice. fave.), Sky Ride (hate. heights.), Tidal Wave, Odysea, Tilt-a-whirl, Musik Express, Bumper Cars (twice.) and ate yummy food and watched everyone's purses a bunch. We saw about 0 hot guys and 47 adorable babies. I guess we're just maturing, ya know. Anyway, had loads of fun. a loads.

Anyway. I'm going to bed.
oh. and go to anti-joke.com and laugh your face, pants, off and your guts out. you won't regret.
-Ellen fellon.

out of the way

here are some things i'm just going to start off with and get them out of the way quick. like a bandaid:

1. bin Laden is dead. How dead, we have no idea. Apparently he was buried at sea and all i've seen are the pictures of his blood on his carpet. They say they wanted to take him away alive but it almost looks like he was napping, the way the blood was right next to his bed... anyway. he's dead. i don't think it's really right to be cheering that he's dead, rather be cheering that we are one step closer to ending all this insanity. All we have to do is wait and pray that they don't try to fight back.


2. my first AP test is over. It was probably the one i was fearing the least, actually. It's one thing to have 2 AP classes, but totally different to have 3 tests. it's killing me. i really need to start doing yoga after school and going to bed earlier. but we all know that's not happening. hah. instead, i think i'm just going to keep reminding myself to stay calm, don't get too anxious, breathe, and think about what lies ahead: marriage. jk. probably getting a job and then college and then marriage. you know, the norm.


3. This "Royal Wedding" business. Some people think it's no biggie. But seriously, it's pretty big. Yeah, they kinda went overboard with their budget... but who, with that kind of money, wouldn't. Kate is becoming a stinkin' princess for cryin' out loud! What little girl doesn't dream of that (and don't say, "me. i was a tom-boy." because i know that, deep down, we all want to marry Prince William or Prince Harry (personally, i choose the latter.))? Plus, it was a beautiful ceremony (minus the hours of singing and talking about Princess Di. I understand it's sad that she's dead, I just think we need to stop dwelling on the sad past and look to the brighter future.) with awesome hats. hah.

now that that's out of the way... here's some cool things i'm excited about:

1. Emily asked me to be a model! okay, i'm just going to admit it. I watch WAY too much tv, and with that come ANTM. yeah, i know... I just love looking pretty and practicing "smeyes" (smiling with your eyes - Tyra). I think it'll be tons of fun and a really cool experience.


2. On Thursday, my yw group is going to the Tulip Festival! All the pretty flowers and it's supposed to be warm that day (75 degrees, i hear.)! And half of my end-of-year-final-huge-tests will be over. it'll be a great way to recharge for the next round of stress. It'll be great. i kinda wish we could've gone to the Carl Bloch exhibit, but it's okay.. maybe the next time? if there is one?


3. Friday, hopefully, i'm visiting UVU. I've tried to book a tour 3 times now. and all 3 times they've cancelled. My mom said "if they cancel again, you're going to another school." great. what school? I've denied the other schools and their scholarships already. I mean, i could go to Weber but there'd be less scholarship and i'd stay home. Sounds fun and all... but i think i need to experience life. i'm nervous, but i can do it. i just need to keep telling myself that.


4. GRADUATION. let me just say it, i'm totally stoked for graduation. maybe not the ceremony... but definitely all the parties and the friends and the free stuff and the diploma and the food and gifts. it's gonna be great. and it's comin up like a rocket. aka speedy. very. It'll be super great! AHhhhhhh!

i think that's enough excitement. for one night, eh? cool. now i'm going to bed and sleeping in. Late-start, ya'll!

-Elle

Flow - Csikszentmihalyi

• I really like art. I appreciate the artists and how they can just spend hours and hours in spurts of intense creativity and produce a masterpiece. I'm not really a flow kind of person. I have to have a set thing and a due date. It would probably also help if i had some art supplies. So once Robert's goes out of business (like i was hearing they are..) i'll buy tons of supplies for cheap and then go flow.


• p.s. csikszentmihalyi came up with the concept of flow which is a intense stream of creative conciousness when most of time-perception dissolves until that spurt of flow ends. I'm studying for the psychology ap test. I think i got this. I've been getting at least 7o's on all my practice tests, which is like a 4 in ap speak, and there is no way to study for english except practicing. so i'm just going to keep doing my best and getting sleep.


• meanwhile, i'm getting an attitude adjustment. and hopefully more sleep. it's only TEN and i'm going to bed soon! Also, i've given up most hope for prom. it's okay, i'll just use my free hairstyle for graduation. i'll be the hottest one there.

i feel like i gotta say more. or quote something. hmm...

• George: Ah, what's the matter with you then?


• Ringo: It's his grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me. It's cuz i'm little.


• George: Ah, you've got an inferiority complex, you have.


• Ringo: Yeah, I know. That's why I play the drums - it's me active compensatory factor.

that's funny cuz it has inferiority complex. and that was thought up by Alfred Adler. (yay for applying beatles to psychology study! now i'll pass for sure!)

• goinga abed. going to bed. okay.


• -Ellen