it's a weird thing.

i'm not one to cry. in fact, i tend to avoid all the movies ever that are known to make people cry. i don't remember crying at my grandma's funeral because i knew she was at peace and could rejoin her family and be perfect again. i don't cry at puppies or babies or death. i just don't cry. i do cry at spiritual whatnots, but that's different. probably.

but i did. and it was weird. but i loved it anyway.

i don't know what provoked my generally dry eyes to well up and just be so incredibly happy that they cried tears of joy. but i couldn't help it. Sean just makes me so incredibly happy that there just aren't words for it. i don't know if the dictionary is that advanced. the only word i can really think of is

ec·sta·sy

   [ek-stuh-see]  Show IPA

noun, plural -sies.

1.

rapturous delight.

2.

an overpowering emotion or exaltation; a state of sudden,intense feeling.

3.

the frenzy of poetic inspiration.

yeah, it's a drug too, but that doesn't matter. i just can't really explain it, but i'm a million billion trillion google-plex happy. i don't want to do anything but be with Sean and, when i can't, i just want to stare at the ceiling and listen to the mix cd he gave me and think about him. or write cliche poetry about it.

and, you see, that's a problem seeing as i also have work, school, and homework that i have to do. it's kind of hard to focus when there's this most amazing being standing right in my way.

i'm honestly trying not to make this super gushy, but true. I just can't help it, i guess. Sean is my best friend. We can talk forever and never get bored and we can go anywhere and do anything and just have tons of fun. We can sit in the deoderant and stare at them for a while and just laugh so hard.

and every time he says a swear, i think i like him even more. which might be weird, seeing as i don't swear all that often. but it just happens.

anyway, i've got to go to bed. i just wanted to let the world know how "freakin' happy" i am (that's a little yo gabba gabba inside joke. soory. 1667%)

love, Ellen

p.s. here's a sample of what i've been listening to lately. enjoy!