May 31: Vivid

I remember nearly a year and a half ago, I had a HUGE crush on this guy. The night before, I had driven him to the local Subway to have dinner with a few of our friends. When I dropped him off outside his apartment, I casually asked him if he was going to our friend Jayme's to watch Land Before Time the next night. He said "Sure".

The next night, I showed up early with a backpack full of homework and high hopes. A couple people trickled in and then Sean knocked on the door. I opened it and let him in and freaked out a little (just in my head. On the outside, I was as cool as a cuke).

Eventually, we had the movie in and the popcorn ready. I had to kick this tall, awkward guy from the seat that was too wide to be a 1-person chair and too small to be a love-seat and then I sat down. Sean sauntered over and then he said something and sat down right next to me. SWOON. The movie started and not 3 minutes in, he had my hand in his and I was on the brink of peeing my pants from excitement (but still, on the outside, cool as a cuke).

We watched the movie (that, to be honest, I'd only seen at my granny's house while playing with Chevron cars) and chatted a bit afterwards. Everyone left and it was just me, Sean, and Jayme (and maybe Jayme's roommate Jamie, who I think had gone to bed by that point). Sean wondered what we were going to do next and I suggested we went back to his place and I'll finish up some homework while he worked on his book. My ploy to get him to fall for me was a success!

We wandered across the complex and up to his apartment and we went in. We sat down on his demon couch and I pulled out Walden by Henry David Thoreau and he pulled out his baby-sized laptop. After an awkward choke-hold-esque situation, we finally found a comfy position and went to work. That obviously didn't last long and we ended the night making out.

He walked me home and kissed me on my doorstep. SWOON. 5 months of dating, 3 months of engagement, and 8 months of marriage later, I swoon just as often. And tonight, we're probably going to buy groceries and I'll tell him I tried making kool-aid taffy but didn't have a candy thermometer, ran to get one, it broke when I pulled it out of the package, I still used what I could, and it still didn't turn out.

I hope the last day of your month turns out better than my kool-aid taffy.
love, Ellen

May 30: Let Go

What does "Let go" mean to me? idk. Probably to many other people, it means Forgive and Forget. However, as I was thinking about this all day, I was listening to this song...

then I figured it to mean "Quit holding yourself back. Just do what you want and be amazing." It means let go of the past and what you think of yourself. Try new things and figure your life out, already. Don't hold grudges, don't base your life on what others have done, don't label yourself, and STOP telling others what to do. You don't know what they're going through and you don't need to figure it out for them. Let them do what they want and you can to.

Sometimes, I want to tell politicians to "Let go" because they get so caught up in figuring out the world when, really, we need to figure ourselves out. I'm not saying I believe in chaos or communism or anything, and it's hard to make people believe the same as you... but I don't know. Maybe we all need to take a step back and quit looking at the fine print. I don't know. I shouldn't preach.

Figure it out.
love, Ellen

May 27: To you

Okay. I see that today is not the 27th and that I already posted for today but I was really looking forward to this prompt and I'm going to do it anyway. So there.

Dear Readers,

Thanks. Just thanks for reading and commenting and being super cool. In turn, your awesomeness, makes me feel more awesome. Whenever I get comments from other bloggers I don't know or who I do know, I show Sean and say "Look! People like me!" Then he says things like "See, I told you that you were cool." And then I say sheepishly, "Thanks." Then I remember how I have a hypothetical conversation problem. Anyway, I really appreciate you and hope you continue to enjoy my hilariousness as much as I do.

love, Ellen

May 25: Charms

I was once told in high school that I was charming. At first I thought it was a nice compliment but now that I look back at it, it kind of seems condescending.

But that's behind me. Now I have a husband that calls me beautiful every day and I appreciate those compliments every day.

and that's all. okay.
love, Ellen

May 24: 3 Worst

my 3 worst traits:

1: Dislikes exercising. A lot of mornings, especially lately, I think to myself "I should go for a run or lift my 5 lb. weights for a bit," and then I sit there on my computer and continue to brows the millions of ridiculous pictures and posts.

2: Occasionally a couple minutes late. I lose track of time easily but I try to never be too late.
Fashionably late. Isn't that what it's called?

3: Often lazy. I should go do the dishes right now but instead I've been watching television for the past 3 or 4 hours putting it off. I will, don't you worry about it, but after I finish this blog.

okay, as I was saying.
love, Ellen

May 23: Schooled

Something I couldn't learn from school:

Why is this such a tough one?
I learned a lot in school and there's a lot that school couldn't teach me.

I just don't know where I'm going with this. I could say that school couldn't teach me how to love or how to be myself or how tough it is to get a job anywhere... but that seems cliche and dumb.
I learned how to be myself no matter what situation in school and I learned that I want to be an editor or a writer or something along those lines when I grow up. School taught me that I'd rather be home with my husband than learning about biography or what have you. I know what I want to learn and I know where I want to go with the help of school. Now I know that school can be the difference between me and someone who was never educated but was laid off from a 15 year career as what I want to be in the race to a job position.

Why is school so important. I don't understand why so many job offers require 2-3 years of professional experience when you're first starting. It's like all those barista jobs that require 2-3 years of experience with coffee before being able to work there. Excuse my language, but how the HELL am I supposed to get 2-3 years experience if no one will hire me in the first place?

Whenever I look at open positions as an editor it says I need that experience but I know how great I am at detecting errors. I scroll through 9gag.com occasionally and almost every other post says something stupid and I automatically correct it in my head. How are employers supposed to know that I'm a great editor without letting me show them.

And that's where school comes in. At least I have that associates degree that cost me $10,000+ of my own money so I can maybe get a leg up on maybe a third of the competition. Entry level? if only I heard that more often when applying for all these positions. I can't wait to show my real worth in the workplace and not just "uh... I worked as a barista for 2 years and now I want a real job so... I have an associates degree...Hire me?" One day. one day...

Okay. I'm going to go apply for more jobs. Wish me luck.
love, Ellen

May 22: Rant

I seriously haven't figured out why they haven't outlawed socks with sandals yet. I saw two horrible cases today. When I walked into work today, there was a lady with socks and sandals and sweat pants with a gaudy bag and a weird backwards hat. Eugh. Then, as I was leaving, I saw a guy with socks and sandals and a pokemon shirt and flood pants. Excuse me, the 1990's called; they want their weird-o back.

Mostly, I don't even like sandals. There are some looks that are great with sandals but those wearing the outfits are always girls. Men's sandals are the absolute worst, especially when paired with long baggy pants that are just dragging along the ground being ruined with every step. It just makes me sick. Sandals or long pants: pick ONE. ew. Men's feet are just gross. I don't know... they're just gross to me.

And that's my rant.
love, Ellen

May 14: 10 Things

10 Things... that make me HAPPY!

1. Sean. He's the number 1 thing in my life that makes me the happiest. He makes me laugh, he cooks for me, he taught me how to play catch, he watches my dumb shows with me. He just makes me incredibly happy every day.
2. My family. I love my family and every time I hang out with them, they make me laugh and we have a great time. Also, they send cute cat pictures that make me happy too.
3. Sun. I love looking out my windows in the morning and see the sun peaking through the trees and brightening my day.
4. Driving with the windows down and the music up. I love the wind blowing through my hair and rocking out to my jamzz. 
5. A clean house. I feel like I can only truly relax once the dishes are done and put away, the bed is made, the laundry is put away, etc. 
6. Showers. There comes a point every day where I feel so incredibly gross that I need to take a shower, even if I took a night one. Showers take care of my body and my brain. 
7. New things. I love having a new shirt to wear or new shampoo to use or new food to eat or new gadgets to show off. 
8. My friends. When I'm bored and they're not busy, I love hanging out with my friends. 
9. Organizing. I know, I'm crazy. I love taking everything out of the closet and rearranging it to make it fit best and getting rid of unnecessary junk that we keep around. It makes me happy.
10. Dancing. I love getting my wiggles out and letting my worries go free through my fingers and toes.  

I hope you can be happy today too!
love, ellen

May 12: Missing, May 13: Sorry

Something/one I'm missing?

Mostly, I've just been missing my Grandma. She passed away when I was 13 after a lot of health battles and I think I miss her the most because I wish I could have gotten to know her more and I wish that she could have been at my wedding. I mean, I know she was, but I remember going to some young women's thing after she died that had a marriage theme and realizing that she wouldn't be there and crying a lot. Sean's grandma died when he was on his mission and he misses her a lot too. I think because it's (was) Mother's Day, she's definitely in our thoughts. I miss you, Grandma!

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A public apology:

Dear public, 

I am sorry for being so incredible all the time. I know you wish you could live up to my awesomeness but it's just not possible. No, I cannot dress you, you cannot have my life, and I can't teach you my ways. However, I will give you some advice depending on the situation and whatever you do with it is your business. Good luck with life, you can't have mine. 

Sorry, 

ellen

May 11: Advertised

1: No one can buy me, Sean already has me.
2: That girl who thinks she's cool and might actually be.

I thought I should share two. I mean, I could go forever with words describing me but then I figured I should make them sentences.

Have a Happy Saturday, all!
love, Ellen

May 10: Embarrassed

I don't really get embarrassed ever. The only time I really ever remember being totally embarrassed, I was in high school. 

I was sitting with a bunch of my friends and that day, my crush decided to come sit with us too. He finished his food about the same time I did and I offered to take care of his tray for him. I got up to throw them away and, little did I know, but I had stepped right into a trap. We had to keep our backpacks at the edge of the table because it was booth-style seating and my foot had gotten itself caught in one of the straps. As you can imagine, I came tumbling down with the tray in hand. I'm sure my face went purple as I stood up, tried to laugh it off, and proceeded to throw the trash away. 

And that was the most embarrassing moment of my life. 

love, Ellen

May 9: A Single Moment

I cleaned my house very well today. It was one of those days where I got everything done and it all looks fabulous. At one point in my cleaning, I piled all of Sean's shoes on top of our laundry hamper so I could vacuum under them. This is that time:

And now, everything is vacuumed and put away and wiped down. Now I can just relax and work on my resume... and that's what I'm going to do.

love, ellen

May 8: Advised

One of my best friends from high school once gave me some great advice and it's stuck with me for quite a while. She wrote me a letter and gave it to me on the last day of school and I still read it often.
Here's a quote from it:

"1. THE OPPORTUNITY TRAIN IS VERY IMPORTANT. Always jump on that train my dear. I know, a lot of times the train can be very scary and intimidating. In all actuality, the train is the least intimidating thing in existence."

I remember when I was first interested in Sean, I jumped on so many opportunity trains to get to know him better. There was one train that just stopped and waited for me to get on for so long and I finally just did it. I walked across the room after a ward activity and talked to the guy I had a huge crush on and then I invited him to go play a game at a friend's house. That train has been the best one of my whole life and I am thankful every day that I boarded and never have to get off.
Thank you, Lexi. Your advice has propelled me right into my future.

Right now, in my life, I'm looking for a new job and Sean and I are looking for a new home closer to my parents. There are so many opportunity trains just waiting for me to board and it really is scary. It's been 2 years since I've had a job interview and the jobs I'm looking at most likely aren't looking for someone as young and inexperienced as I am, but I've got to start somewhere and if I don't apply and try, how am I supposed to start?

Anyway, if you're having a hard time jumping on that train, just do it. What have you got to lose? When those opportunity trains arrive, get on. They might kick you back off, but another train that might be going in the direction you need could be right behind it. Just do it.

love, Ellen.

May 7: a-feared

I am absolutely terrified of heights. There are some heights that I can handle, like on top of a mountain, but I cannot handle a cliff or a tall building. I don't know why I'm afraid of heights, but I can't stand them. Same with roller coasters. I just don't like going fast and being high up and then going down. It's no fun.

And those are things I'm afraid of. 

love, ellen.

May 6: what I do.

+ I wife.
+ I clean.
+ I paint.
+ I sculpt.
+ I write.
+ I read.
+ I edit.
+ I create.
+ I play.
+ I sleep.

May 5: lovin'

I have a friend named Erica.
She's probably the coolest person that I've known since junior high.
Oh, the days of horrible boy bands, fan-girling, and lots of fits of laughter.
She has a blog. This. She's a really great writer.
We have fun and we're going to have barbecues this summer.

May 4: Quoted

self-explanatory and delightful. 

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I got my hair cut off today. I am so happy with it! It's going to be so nice for summer and it really makes me look sophisticated, i think.

before: 

after:

That's all for today.

love, Ellen

May 3: Discomfort

I don't get uncomfortable very easily. Whenever awkward situations happen, I can shrug it off pretty well but there is one thing that will get my goat every time no matter what. Feet. I can't stand them. They are just ugly and smelly and weird-shaped and toes and... I just don't like them. I hate when guys wear flip flops. Girls' feet aren't as bad, but mens' feet are gross. I hate even more when they wear flip flops and long pants. One or the other, guys. Seriously.

There are a couple other things that unsettle me, too: heights, chalkboards, and hoarders, to name a few. But I think the worst is when someone takes their shoes and socks off and touch me with their feet. Even if they're too near food I get grossed out.

That's enough feet talk.

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GUESS WHAT. I get my hair cut tomorrow morning. I'm so excited! I'm also a little nervous and so is Sean because I haven't had short hair for so long. Good thing he's stuck with me forever! hah. love. 

I made a date night jar. It's going to be fun. Most of the things in there are things we'd do anyway but sometimes Sean pulls out the "It's your day" card and I want to punch a wall. Not really... but this jar will hopefully fix all the things! 

That's all. 

love, Ellen

May 2: Know It All

On Saturday, I'm getting my hair cut off. I'm going from 10 inches to maybe 2 or 3 inches at it's longest. I really can't wait. 

Here is how you cut your hair (for all of you interested in getting it off but still nervous about what it would look like):

1: Find a look that you like and think you could do in 5 minutes in the morning. A good way to go about doing this is pinterest search or google "short hair cuts for women" and then browse through your options. 

2: Set a goal to do it. The last time I cut it all off, I just up and did it. This time, however, it was a little bit harder because I had worked so long and hard to get my hair to be long. A good end date for your goal might be something like a: When school ends, b: When I run out of shampoo, c: Saturday, etc.

3: Make an appointment with your barber. This is crucial because you shouldn't be doing such drastic things to your hair without the help of a professional. Also, make sure it's someone you trust and have been to before. It's a big deal for you and you don't want some beauty school amateur chopping at your scalp with scissors. (No offense intended, beauty school people) Another thing, you want to tell your barber that it might take a while so they can schedule enough time to get it right.

4: Take a copy of the photo you previously found and give it to your barber. This helps solidify your idea and make you look fabulous. 

5: Sit back and relax. For me, getting a haircut is the most relaxing massage ever. And then when your hair cut is finished...

6: Ta da! New hair! A fresh start for your hair and an easy way to cool down in the summer. Enjoy!

love, ellen

May 1: life in a paragraph

I'm doing this. It's a real goal and I really will do it.

I started off living in Ogden, UT. From there, my family moved approximately 7 times and then I turned 9 and we settled down in a real house. It was hard for me to find friends but I got along by hanging out with my mom a lot and asking people if I could sit by them at lunch.  I graduated from high school with honors and went to college an hour south of home and quickly met and fell in love with an incredible guy from Minnesota. We dated exactly 5 months, were engaged in a dinosaur museum, and married in a little temple just outside the Twin Cities. Now I'm graduated with my associates, still working as a barista, and learning how to play catch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Isn't that fun! I like blogging and this is great because it has prompts that are solid! awesome. 

But it is true, Sean bought me a new mitt and we've been playing catch. I'm proud to say that he's impressed with my ability to throw a baseball and i'm still working on my catching... haha. It's actually a whole lot of fun being able to spend time with my husband doing things we like. 

okay, have a great day! see you tomorrow!

love, ellen